Event of the week: Pirates

Once more, Leela's ship is stranded on the beach, into a hidden cove. Not far from the ship, on the beach, the captain and her crew is loading some cargo into a boat.

Next to the boat, the rest of the pirates are dismantling the improvised tents of the beach camp. Leela is sitting in a wooden crate, overseeing her crew with the help of her first mate, Mei.

“Captain, we're almost done, this is the last shipment.” Mei says with a smile and cheerful tone. Leela nods and frowns. “Good, tell the others to hurry up and dismantle the camp at once.” The captain responds sternly.

“Guuuuuuys! It iiiiiiiiiiis tiiiiiimeee tooo leaaaave, fiiiiiniiish with theee caaaaamp!” Shouts Mei as if the rest of the crew were a hundred kilometers away. The crew seems to have stopped short, leaving everything they were doing at the time. Leela snorts and looks condescendingly while Mei shakes her head.

“Attention, bunch of slackers! You better start to collect all this shit or I swear that I will make you walk the plank until the sharks and eels can't take any more of you!” shouts Leela's thundering voice.

Hearing this, the crew shudders, but still do not seem to react to her words. “What the hell...? Mei, go see what happens ... I'm done with their nonsense... Done!” Exclaims Leela as she takes her palm to her forehead.

Mei nods, and, hopping, heads toward the camp. “Guuuuys... cooomee on... the captain is getting angryyyyy...” When she arrives, she sees the rest of the crew with bitter expressions and arms crossed in front of three armed male silhouettes.

“In the Name of the King Richard and Queen Aroliana, stop now!” Shouts one of the guards. The other pirates turn upon seeing Mei arriving cheerful and smiling. “Oh damn it! So close! We were almost done...” Complains Mei.

The three guards open their eyes wide when seeing the first mate Mei, with her long, soft dark mane and most of her body covered in tattoos.

“What shall we do now, Mei?” Asks one of the pirates. Mei puts a thoughtful face while taking the index finger to her lips. “Mmm.... If I remember correctly... what we usually do in these... situations... is offering a commission... It is known that the guards' salaries are not very high... right?” Explains Mei staring at the three guards.

The guards shake their heads as to refocus on this smuggling issue instead of glancing at Mei's tattooed breasts. “I recommend you to not follow this path, or we'll meet in the court of the Stallos inquisition.” Responds the one who seems to be the head of the three guards.

Upon hearing this, one of the Leela's men puts a grimace. “Then we'd better not leave any witnesses...” he says while unsheathing a long knife. The rest of the crew nods, insults and spits on the ground while unsheathing their weapons menacingly.

The three guards stand close, back-to-back, and unsheathe their swords too while raising their shields, visibly nervous. “On behalf of the King and Queen! Make them stop, now!” Says the head of the guards, staring at Mei.

“Coooome on, guys, don't be so rough... They are just three poor guards, here all alone, without reinforcements or anything... Also, we must finish packing all this and bring it to the boat ...” says Mei, quite naive. Mei's words do not seem to stop the pirates nor inspiring any confidence to the guards.

Suddenly, everyone stops. “Sheathe your weapons. Now.” Commands Leela, passing through her crew. Two of the guards begin to sheathe their swords, while admiring the captain, astonished . “Not you, them!” Says Leela while shaking her head.

The crew obeys while grumbling reproaches. Leela approaches Mei. “Have you offered some... commission?” Asks the captain. “Yes, but they don't look... interested... it's a pity... They are quite handsome...” Answers Mei with sad voice tone as she winks to one of the guards. The guard blushes, her face red as a tomato.

“Hmm... I see...” Leela ponders for a moment, crossing glances with the guards that try to maintain an authority look despite the voluptuousness of the captain and her first mate.

“Maybe we can reach an agreement... parrley... Perhaps?” Says Leela with a sensual voice.

Leela regains her fierce attitude and addresses to her crew. “Let's move you bloody mongrels! Don't you have work or what? Pick up everything... but that tent!” Orders Leela. The rest of the crew begins to move and go on with their tasks. “Leeet's do it guuuuys, let's pack everything and leaaaveee!” Exclaims Mei cheerfully.

“Not you, Mei. You stay with me... I need help to... parrley with them.” Says Leela. “Aye, my captain. What do you want me to do?” Asks Mei. Leela stares at the guards and puts a naughty smile.

“Go to that tent and take off your clothes.” Orders the captain. Mei nods and, with a giggle, moves towards the tent. “See you now guuuuys... don't make me wait too long for... the parrley... I don't want to get cold...” The three guards blush even more and gulp while watching Leela with eyes wide open.

“Well, gentlemen, are we going to parrley o what?” Asks Leela with a leer. The guards stare at each other and nod fervently. “I thought so... And, after, we can take a some coups of rum, to seal the deal...” Leela says with a triumphant smile as she heads to the tent along with the guards.

While the rest of the crew finishes their tasks, Mei, Leela and the three guards spend all the time negotiating hard and tirelessly, until they can not anymore.

Then, Leela and Mei dress and leave. The three men gawk, staring at the horizon while watching the boat sail away, wondering when they'll be able to meet Leela and her crew again and collect their... commission.

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